Today I received a lovely ‘Thank You’ note from one of my clients.   My eyes naturally were drawn to the personal look of a handwritten note among the mass of pre-printed envelopes in my US mail.  This envelope was especially pretty!  The return address was imprinted on the envelope flap, and the thoughtful note inside was written on monogrammed stationery:

Dear Sharon,

Thank you for coming to talk with my students. They enjoyed your etiquette presentation so much, and have already been talking about using your suggestions in their interviews. I have them in class tomorrow and we will be talking about resumes and interviews so your information was great. I so appreciate the gift of the latest edition of the Emily Post etiquette book. It was so thoughtful of you to give it to me – and it is such a useful gift for me to have for these students.  Again, thank you for your time and for the special gift for me. I will think of you every time I use the book for my students, or for my personal use.

                                                                                                  With much appreciation,    

                                                                                                                                                    Susie

So what made Susie’s thank you note so special?

A thank you note should be sent when someone does something nice for you or goes out of their way for you. It doesn’t need to be longer than a few sentences.  Notes written on personalized or monogrammed stationery are beautiful expressions. It is important to send thank you notes when someone:

•  gives you a gift, or has flowers, fruit or other treats delivered
• hosts a dinner, party or celebration in your honor
• invites you to a party, concert, or other performance
• invites you to stay in their home, ranch or lake house
• writes a recommendation or reference
• refers a client

Here are a few tips to make your next note as gracious as Susie’s:

#1. In the first sentence of the note, say thank you and be appreciative. Thank the giver for the specific gift. You may also include a thank you for their time. The note does not need to be elaborate. It can be short and sweet. “Thank you for coming to talk with my students.”  “I am so appreciative of the latest edition of the ….”

#2. Mention the particular gift. “They enjoyed your etiquette presentation so much.” “the latest edition of the Emily Post etiquette book.”

#3. State why you like this gift. “It is such a useful gift for me to have for these students.” “I have them in class tomorrow and we will be talking about resumes and interviews…”

#4. Sign the note pleasantly. You may add “Again, thank you for …” before signing the thank you note.

With these simple tips, your thank you note will do exactly what you intend it to do – show your gratitude to someone who deserves it!

There’s nothing quite like South by Southwest to remind us Austinites what makes our city so unique. With over 2000 bands playing at more than 90 venues in less than a week, we (and tens of thousands of visitors) get a true taste of this Live Music Capital of the World.

Large, chaotic events can encourage audiences to throw modern manners out the window, but we locals know better. We have all experienced a concert behavior faux pas. From loud talking at an intimate show to the couple next to you reliving their own intimate moment as the band plays “their song,” it’s time we introduce our guests to some concert-going etiquette. Here are five of my favorites guidelines based on interviews of performers, musicians and audience members:

1. Copyright Laws: Copyright laws prevent audience members from recording performances. Be aware that security personnel may suddenly appear to confiscate your video camera and equipment. Holding your iPhone aloft for the duration of a song, in someone’s line of vision, may result in you being escorted out of the venue without your property.  Buy a DVD or CD, or download legally when you get home!

2. Respect the Opening Band: SXSW organizers have worked hard to put together cohesive music showcases, but very few attendees will be familiar with all bands playing. It takes courage to get on stage and play for an audience that does not know your music. Even if one of the bands is not your favorite, be appreciative.

3. Public Displays of Affection: Even if it’s dark, we can see you. We ask that you please return to the privacy of your hotel room instead of inches from the next audience member to allow us to focus better on the music.

4. Concert Position: If you arrive early, do not leave in the middle expecting to get your front and center spot back. If you arrive late, do not expect to be able to elbow, nudge, and push to the front.  The people at the front are there because they waited for hours to acquire that coveted spot.  If you sneak away and return with a few beers, please take a sip beforehand so that the beer goes to your tummy and not down someone’s back.

5. Smoking: Smoking anything inside is illegal in Austin. If you’ve decided to enjoy an herb before the show, please consider showering prior to attending. Your chances of being arrested by one of Austin’s finest will greatly decrease.

When everything goes well, SXSW can be a once-in-a-lifetime live music experience. Just ask one of the 2700 fans who watched Jay-Z take over the ACL Stage on Monday night! Let’s work for our title as Live Music Capital and promote the best SXSW experience possible!

Irish Blessing

Business Etiquette on the Emerald Isle

Business travel to Ireland? If you want the luck of the Irish, be prepared for your travel to Dublin, Limerick,  or Shannon. It is important to know that National Pride is strong in Ireland. Be sure to avoid referring to an Irish treasure as British or English. With the exception of the six counties that make up Northern Ireland, the country has been independent since 1922, after 800 years of British rule. The Irish people are lovely, and I have enjoyed my travel to this island tremendously. Here are 5 business etiquette tips for business travel to Ireland

1. Making Contact: Ireland is a market where recommendations, referrals, and testimonials are very useful. Trade shows, trade missions, and chamber of commerce introductions are good ways to connect with potential business associates and customers.

2.Hand Shaking: A light, confident handshake is common with introductions in Ireland. While the men exchange light handshakes, do not be surprised if some females chose not to offer to shake hands. It is appropriate to wait to see if the female executive offers her hand. It is appropriate to shake hands at the beginning and end of the meeting. Customarily, the Irish do not shake hands daily when arriving and departing the office; which  is a common practice in some Continental cultures.

3.Eye Contact: Irish business people have indirect, or less direct, eye contact than in more expressive cultures. A truly direct gaze should be avoided, as it may be received as intense, rude or intrusive.

4. Forms of Address. Begin conversations with formal titles and use Mr. and Ms. until invited by a business colleague to “Please call me Sharon.”  Medical doctors, dentists and clergy will expect visitors to call them “Doctor,” “Father” or “Reverend.” If you are in the military, from the south, or accustomed to responding “Yes ma’am” or “No sir” to older or retired people, avoid this practice in Ireland. Younger Irish business people are becoming less formal. It is becoming more common for the Irish to introduce themselves on the telephone as “Sharon” or “John.”

5. Gestures: The Irish use very few hand and arm gestures. It is best to avoid gestures when traveling internationally because gestures may be easily misinterpreted. Avoid pointing with the index finger while in Ireland, as it can be seen as accusatory. It is best to indicate direction quietly verbally with hours such as “1300” or a slight nod of the head. If the two-finger victory sign is used, be sure the palm is facing outward. Otherwise, with the palm facing inward, it is an obscene gesture.  

One of the best parts of doing business in Ireland is the yummy pub lunch that is standard business entertainment! Dinners are more of a social event, and include fine local seafood.  If you have questions, please send an email.  Stay tuned for more in a later post on Irish Hospitality and Dining Etiquette.

1. When is the appropriate time to send invitations for a gala?  Timing is crucial for charity balls, parties, dinners and events, not just galas. This is true whether the organizer is mailing printed invitations or inviting guests via email and telephone. To put timing in perspective, let’s look at social event guidelines in general:

If the invitation is sent too late, many times the guest has already made a commitment or has alternative plans. If the host is concerned that the invitation may not be calendared, or may be misplaced, then a “save the date” card may be mailed first, with the invitation to follow during the proper mailing window.

2. How do I dress when the invitation does not specify? What is Creative Black Tie? If the invitation does not specify, rely on the host to guide you. Contact the organizer and inquire as to past history, and ask other guests what they plan to wear. It has been helpful to my clients to take a look at wardrobe and attire considerations from a variety of resources.

 
3.       What should I do when arriving at a gala?  Just before arrival, read the invitation again. Refresh your memory and your date’s memory about the honorees, the awards, and the hosts. What are their spouses’ names? Whom do I need to meet, greet, and thank upon arrival and departure? Be sure to check in upon arrival, receive the program and check your coat or wrap. As a guest, be calm and gracious. Circulate and greet others. Remember that the person who does not acknowledge you when they see you, and know you, is behaving inappropriately and immaturely. When you see someone that you know at a social event, it is appropriate to greet them and say “Good evening, it is good to see you.”

4.       What is the appropriate decorum at a gala?  We observe our colleagues and wonder, what will it be like to spend time with that person? What happens when the chips are down? Can I trust her to do the right thing when I step out of the room? That will either be a resounding “yes” or “no.”  Stop, and think about your behavior. If you are making loud catcalls or whistling, it may be time to rethink your approach.

Even at local chamber events, minding your gala manners will save you from embarrassment and help you shine as a true professional.

In 2011, the Super Bowl was the most watched TV program in U.S. history, with 106.5 million viewers, according to the Nielson Wire ratings. Last year’s Super Bowl game surpassed the long-time leading final episode of M*A*S*H (with 105.5 million viewers in 1983).  The NFL championship game is more than primetime television – it is a national tradition. Super Bowl game day is also the second largest food consumption day in the U.S., after Thanksgiving!  If you are hosting a game day watch party or attending one, the players are not the only ones being observed. Your manners will be watched too. Read these etiquette tips for game day success.

1. 1. Greeting other guests. Whether you are a guest or a host, it is polite to greet others at the Super Bowl Party. If you have not met someone, ask to be introduced, or introduce yourself with “Good afternoon, my name is John Conner and I know Samantha through our work together on the chamber. How do you know her?” Your attendance at the same party is enough reason to greet another guest.
2. 2. Television Screens. Consider more than one TV screen. Place a screen in the room with the buffet, the kitchen, or another room. One TV may be set up for serious game watchers, and another TV room may be reserved for socializers who wish to visit during the game. Both groups may be very interested in those million dollar Super Bowl commercials.
3. 3. Super Bowl Party Contests. Consider party contests for those moments of down time. Examples include guess the half-time or final score, funniest or most expensive commercial, best fan spirit and yummiest appetizer.  Have simple prizes on hand.
4. 4. Serve favorite appetizers. If you are hosting, order or prepare favorite dishes and appetizers in advance. Be aware of guest allergies, and include vegan, gluten-free and sugar-free dishes with menu cards. Organize the buffet the previous night.  Be sure to provide enough seating.
5. 5.     National Anthem. When the national anthem is played, stand and take off your hat if you are wearing one. It is not necessary to encourage your guests do so. However, it shows respect to our nation, even when the anthem is being played on TV.
6. 6. Moderation. During the party, serve a variety of beverages, including juice, carbonated drinks, sodas, and water, in addition to alcoholic drinks. Sports fans understand that many arenas close down alcohol service before the final period of play. After the third quarter announce “last call” and close the bar. Begin serving dessert, coffee and tea. Have a plan in place for guests who may overindulge including designated drivers, a shuttle service, and room for unexpected overnight guests.
7. 7.     Super Bowl Decorations.  Show your spirit for both teams. Use official NFL party plates or order specialty desserts! Party favors may include a bottle of water with both team colors tied as a ribbon around the neck of the bottle.
8. 8.     Neighbors. It is appropriate to let your neighbors know that you are hosting a party, and that guests may be parking on the street. It is gracious to invite your neighbors to your party ~ especially if you wish to build a good relationship. Another option is to stop by after the party to be sure all went smoothly, and to share party goodies and desserts.
9. 9. Children? If children are invited, consider a children’s room. Prepare in advance, set up a safe place with toys, a nap area and play activities. Hire a trusted babysitter.

Super Bowl game day is a great time for family and friends to spend time together. Make it a memorable day to mind your manners and enjoy the game of the year!

 Do you want to avoid those awkward moments on Valentine’s Day? Keep a few thoughts in mind as you prepare. Fresh flower purchases still rank number one, capturing 36% of holiday transactions. While men buy mostly for romantic reasons, women use Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to show they care to mothers, daughters and friends, as well as their sweethearts. Women even treat themselves to Valentine’s Day. If you are cooking on Valentine’s Day, six sexy foods for consideration on the menu include almonds, asparagus, avocados, figs, oysters, and chocolate! Think about these dos and don’ts for love at any stage of the game:

1. 1. Do make a dinner reservation for February 14. Plan ahead. Call the restaurant and speak to the hostess, or make a booking on OpenTable.com. Plan to go to dinner with a date or friends.
2. 2. Do discuss Valentine’s Day in advance.  Bring up the topic of Valentine’s Day with your spouse or the person you are dating. Be prepared to compromise if you have differing views of the holiday.
3. 3. Don’t wait until the last minute. Avoid waiting until the week before to ask your date out. If you have feelings for that special someone, ask him or her at least 10 days to 2 weeks in advance. Avoid procrastination.
4. 4. Do extend the valentine invitation in person or over the phone. Avoid sending an email or text message when asking your valentine out on this special day!  Personal invitations are best.
5. 5. Do bring flowers. Flowers are a time honored tradition. Unless you know the recipient has an allergy, remember classic red roses represent passion and love, pink roses convey admiration, yellow roses express happiness and white roses send a message of friendship. If you can remember the recipient’s favorite flower, you are a star! Remember a single rose is also a beautiful statement as it is the thought that counts!
6. 6. Do accept invitations to Valentine’s celebrations. Enjoy events without a date, wear red and be open to the possibilities.
   
7. 7. Do brush up on your table manners.  Acknowledge the people you are with on February 14, and respect their time. Be sure that your credit card is up to date and below the limit. Nothing ruins a date faster than a decline on a card. Keep the cell phone on silent, and safely tucked out of sight. Remember to avoid looking at your cell phone as it conveys boredom to those in your presence
8. 8. Don’t go overboard with gifts. If you are still recovering from your December buying spree, remember a thoughtful card, a home-cooked meal and great conversation make a memorable Valentine’s evening.
9. 9. Do wish special friends Happy Valentine’s Day when you awaken! Send a text, voice mail or email and wish your circle Happy Valentine’s Day. If you have plans for the evening, let your date know that you are looking forward to the evening.

Valentine’s Day is for expressing passion to our loved ones. Take this opportunity to show your special ones how much you appreciate them.

2.  Non-alcoholic toasts: Today, toasting is about the sentiment of the occasion, and part of the finale of New Year’s Eve in the U.S. It is also a highlight at weddings, birthdays, anniversaries and retirements. It is perfectly acceptable to toast with a sparkling beverage, ginger ale, club soda, seltzer, water or juice. Keep in mind it is about the celebration and not the liquid.

3. New Beginnings & Christenings: Champagne was traditionally served at the Coronation of French kings. Champagne has historically been associated with christenings, new beginnings, and rare moments. It has become associated with New Year’s Eve festivities around the world for this reason.

4.  What is Champagne? Champagne is a sparkling wine that comes from the region of Champagne, in France. In the 1600s, it is thought that the monk Dom Perignon “invented” Champagne. It is known that he discovered that the best Champagnes were made from blends of the Champagne grapes (Pinot Noir, Pinot Meunier and Chardonnay) from different Champagne vineyards. An interesting tip, the smaller and faster the bubbles, the finer the champagne. Scientists have determined that there are 95 million bubbles in a bottle of champagne!

5. Champagne Bottle Opening: The proper way to open a bottle of champagne (avoiding spray, injury or spills) is to hold the bottle at a 45 degree angle, grasp the champagne cork gently with the one hand and turn the bottom of the bottle firmly with the other hand. Be sure to twist the bottom of the bottle slowly, until you feel the cork gently release in your hand.

6. Sabering Champagne: A commonly asked question about a fascinating way to open a bottle of champagne involves the lost art of sabering. Legend has it that Napoléon’s mounted artillery officers started the trend of sabering. While riding a horse, these soldiers used a blade to cut the top off a champagne bottle with the cork still attached to it. Today, for an experienced wine connoisseur to accomplish this feat, precise preparation must occur.  First, the bottle should rest upside down 60 minutes in ice, and must be very, very cold. Then, the bottle is removed from ice, slowly turned upright, held at a 45 degree angle with no fluid touching the cork, gently touch the blade on the shoulder of the bottle, then use a short follow-through movement with the blade using the elbow; not the wrist. Please think twice before attempting to saber your champagne, as this is mostly a lost art and could result in shattered glass in the champagne!

7.  Around the World: Nearly every culture has practiced toasting in one form or another. One of the most common toasts made on New Year’s Eve is simply “Happy New Year.” Communicate “Happy New Year,” “Cheers to the New Year” or “Congratulations for the New Year” in the following languages:

Language / Spelling

Chinese: Chu Shen Tan (pronunciation)

Czech: Stastny Novy Rok

Danish: Godt Nytar

French: Bonne annee

Gaelic (Scotland): Bliadhna mhath ur

German: Frohes Neues Jahr / Gutes Neues Jahr

Greek: kali chronya

Hawaiian: Hauoli Makahiki hou

Hebrew: Shana Tova (pronunciation)

Hungarian: Boldog Uj Evet

Irish: Athbhliain faoi mhaise dhuit /Bhliain nua sasta

Italian: Felice Anno Nuovo/Buon anno

Japanese: akemashite omedetou gozaimasu (pronunciation)

Latin: Felix sit annus novus

Portuguese: Feliz Ano Novo

Russian: s novim godom (pronunciation)

Spanish: Feliz Ano Nuevo

Swedish: Gott Nyttar

Thai: saa-wat-dii pi-mai (pronunciation)

Turkish: Yeliniz Kutlu Olsun/ Mutlu yillar

Welsh: Blwyddyn newydd dda

 In what language can you say “Happy New Year”?

So why has so much been written in recent years about the challenges with etiquette in our fitness facilities? Even personal trainers admit it can be an intimidating experience to return to the gym. Whether you are an exercise novice or a fitness buff, you want to avoid a gym faux pas!   The following tips may ease your fresh start and make it just that much more enjoyable for you and your fellow gym members. Your Fresh Start Tips to Fitness in 2012:

1.Fitness Attire: Be sure your athletic attire covers what needs to be covered and fits properly.  Certain strength and Pilates exercises require work on a bench or the floor. Be sure that bottoms are not so loose as to be revealing when you are bending over or prone.  Wear a proper sports bra and clean athletic shoes. Learn the fitness facility boundaries for sport-specific athletic shoes (such as spin shoes).

2.Fragrance: Be sure to wear antiperspirant. Avoid perfume and heavy make-up while working out.  If a fellow exerciser’s fragrance is overwhelming, visit with the front desk, email the club or slip a note in the suggestion box.  Arrive clean, not covered in mulch from gardening!

3.Perspiration & Anti-bacterial Wipes: Wipe the equipment before you sit down, and be sure to wipe down the machine when you finish, regardless of whether you perspired. Many fitness facilities provide anti-bacterial wipes or towels to wipe the machines when finished.  This includes the spin bike at the end of spin class!

4.Share: Cooperation is the key here. While resting between sets, do not stay on the machine. Allow others to work into your sets. Ask politely if you wish to ‘work in.’ Return equipment such as BOSU balls, mats, bands, unload weight bars and re-rack free weights. Leaving weights on the floor is unsafe may cause others to trip. Limit exercise on cardio equipment to 30 minutes during peak hours. Turn off any electrical equipment that you used such as the elliptical TV, lights in the BMI room, or portable fans.

5.Facility Layout: Before your first workout, go exploring! Returning to the gym? Learn the layout to increase your self-confidence and create mental energy. Walk around like one of the ‘regulars’ who knows the answers to the following questions: day care options, services offered, hours most crowded, location of towel and antibacterial wipes, water, and restrooms.

6.Introductory session: Be honest and ask yourself if you know what you are doing? If you are unsure about the equipment, or how to get started, one of the best things you can do is hire a personal trainer for a few sessions to get you started.  Do not feel obligated to sign-up for a year of classes. Keep in mind that the vast majority of personal trainers do not offer free sessions.

7.Noise: Remember the goal is to focus on the workout without distractions. Keep your headphones and personal music tuned to an acceptable level so you may enjoy the music solo.   People focusing on their routines do not appreciate singing, karaoke, personal cell phone conversations or loud discussions in the fitness facility. Use your inside voice at all times.

8.Respect: The only person who should correct another’s form is a personal trainer or a gym employee.  Working out is a great place to meet people; however it is not a singles club. If you wish to mingle, wait for a cue (eye contact) to strike up a conversation. Do not bore other people about how well you are doing with your workout or diet. Only share if others inquire; too many people go on for too long when discussing fitness.  For long discussions, go to a café.

9.Mirrors: During an exercise, people watch themselves to monitor form and execution. If a weight or machine is in front of someone performing a set; it is polite to wait for them to finish. Avoid primping, hair design and preening in front of the mirrors as others observe this behavior, and you do not want to be ‘that person.’

10.Locker Room: Remember this is shared space for a large number of people. Avoid placing your items all over the bench provided for sitting to change. Place clothing directly in the locker. Be sure your cell phone is turned off or to ‘silent’ when placed in the locker. Remember to clean make-up from the counter. Refrain from walking around naked; the majority of people feel a little uncomfortable being so close to someone who is baring it all!

Observing these tips will help with your fresh start to fitness in 2012. Avoid being ‘that person’ at your club or gym.  Enjoy your work out and and all the best to you in the New Year!

1.Holiday Tipping is Holiday Thanking: In the US, we traditionally thank service providers with holiday tips.  Remember the reason for the tip is to show gratitude and to say thank you to loyal and trusted employees, service providers and family care givers. The time from Thanksgiving to New Years is when we take the opportunity to thank those who assist us year-round, even in tough economic times.

2.Make a List & Check it Twice: Prioritize your most important service providers. If someone’s work eases your life immeasurably, that individual should be at the top of your holiday tip list. Tip based on loyalty, and how regularly you see the person. The trusted housecleaner, the dependable nanny, and the care giver for a parent, may receive more than a service provider you see less frequently. Carefully consider all.

3.Budget & Finances: Holiday tipping is not an obligation. It is based on your personal financial status, along with your relationship with the trusted provider. Take the time to determine what is appropriate for you, and your budget. When times and finances are tight, you may not be able to tip with a monetary expression of thanks. Avoid overspending, stay within your budget and do not overextend yourself. January bills are not forgiving!

4.Handwritten Note of Appreciation: Be sure to write a handwritten note of appreciation, with 3-4 sentences.  It can be short; however it should be personal. If appropriate, you may also include a short note about why your tip may be delayed, smaller or non-existent. Otherwise the wrong message is sent, and you risk losing a valued relationship.

5.Be Creative: Handmade cards are memorable, personal touches that add to the holiday spirit and create memories. Think about giving a special treat that you would not buy for yourself. Lovely examples include nice soap, votive candles and gourmet coffee. Reflect on your conversations with the person and determine what could replace a monetary gift, such as a gluten free meal or a sugar free chocolate dessert for a diabetic. Fresh flowers work for someone who likes to make floral arrangements.

As you deliver and make your holiday tips and thanks this year, please keep in mind that these guidelines are are only suggestions. Your common sense plays a role too. Be sure to include a handwritten thank you note with 3-4 sentences, expressing appreciation and gratitude for loyalty and assistance throughout the year.

Holiday Thanking &Holiday Tipping Etiquette Recommendations:

Please keep in mind that each individual must use common sense and decide what is most comfortable and appropriate. This list contains recommendations for holiday thanking or tipping for those who insist on guidelines.  Please remember, these are not rules. Monetary ranges may vary based on common sense, geographical locations, and personal financial situation.s It is not necessary to give both cash and a gift; however, at times a child may wish to give a gift to a babysitter or Nanny in addition to your tip.

*Handing a business card to a potential customer or client should be done in a way that allows the recipient to receive the card with the print facing them. Be sure your card is clean, and crisp so they remember your name.

*Be sure to carry clean, up-to-date business cards without handwriting.  Refrain from writing on the face of a business card for numerous reasons of civility.

*When handling business cards in the United States, use the right-hand or both hands, to present the card. Avoid using your left hand to present a business card. Keep your right hand free at at times for handshaking and presenting cards.

*Use a business card case to keep cards clean and crisp!

*When receiving a business card, do not receive it with your left hand, or place it in your rear pocket or wallet. Receive it with your right hand or both hands, and take a moment to look at the card, and ask a question. For more about business card protocol, contact Sharon at 512.306.1845.